Marketing to my Uterus...

I have recently realized that there is a new marketing push out there - to my uterus. No longer am I the target of maxi pad and tampon companies. Oxy Clean and Clearasil see no use for the likes of me. Not even Match.com or theknot.com look my way. But pampers, Babies R us, Buy Buy Baby, and Luv's just can't get enough these days.

And today, the pièce de résistance... As I walked into the foyer of my apartment building, there is a shoebox sized package with my name on it. Courtesy of Similac. 2lbs of formula - one for bone strength, one for fussy and gassy babies. SERIOUSLY?!?

How about sending some free condoms, maybe some free samples of my birth control! These are things that I need, not two pounds of formula. Just because I'm over 30, does this mean I'm automatically qualified for this shit? How about sending me a date instead, then the formula in a few more years...