There is a lot of talk about how you approach dating should be how you approach your job. I get this on an intellectual level, but as a therapist, in practical application, I should not be doing therapy on a date, but sometimes it is just inevitable.
Last night, I went on what I hope to be my last Match.com date, for the specific reason that they seem to get worse and worse. Jon came to meet me for margaritas - tequila should make everything better, right? He comes in exasperated and very distraught, sits down at the bar and instantly starts off with how much he hates blind dates and how terrible Match.com is, believing it unfairly judges him. I sense his anxiety and switch into therapist mode, working to disarm his anxiety and get him feeling more comfortable in this "holding space."
He refuses to talk about his work, swearing he will not let it define him (he's an investment banker). He talks about how he hates being positive and is about to "break up" with his therapist, asking for my opinion on this.
I have enough whiny, depressing people I have to listen to all day, the last thing I need is to do this on my dates too. No matter how many margaritas!
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