Predictability

It's been a little overwhelming since coming home from Africa. There is so much going on around me, so much access, so many people - a definite deviation from the bush. I've been a bit of a hermit, keeping myself in my apartment, slowly integrating back within my world.

As I head out with friends to watch the Phillies (who ultimately choked), we landed at a local dive bar. Surprise of all surprises, everyone there was under 30 and in finance. I'm so over the predictability and realizing I know what I can get from that scene - not much.

I'll take my chance on me today, seeing what I can come up with, recognizing based on recent experiences that it is a hell of a lot less predictable than what NYC men have been able to offer me.

A Different Kind of Junkie...

As I have been in Africa now for a few weeks, I'm realizing that my priorities are changing. I am becoming a different kind of "junkie". No longer am I focused on seeking the perfect date and navigating the single scene in New York City. What I am seeking are new, more exciting adventures. I can navigate the dating scene, there isn't much new there (as it turns out), it has become quite predictable. Today, it's adventure, it's the adrenaline rush I'm after.

Last night while listening to the bull frogs and relaxing under the stars, I started chatting with a local guy, who offered to take me around Victoria Falls and show me all I need to see before I leave. Great, I think to myself, a little date in the middle of Africa! As I head out first thing in the morning for my white water rafting trip along the Zambezi River (boasting class 4 and 5 rapids, by the way), I was excited for the power packed day, including my afternoon rendezvous.

As soon as I capsized on the first rapid, I needed more. The idea of leaving after a half day of rafting was no longer satisfying. I needed to continue, chasing after the feel good feeling that this rush provided. With no way to contact my impromptu tour guide, I continued along the river, getting tossed around and rushing through the most amazing adventure!

Upon my return, this poor guy was sitting waiting for me, two hours later. Shame! With bruises, mud, and a huge smile on my face, I let him gently know that my heart was on the river that day...

Do I need to spell it out for you?

The only problem with spending so much time with the same people over a few weeks is the relationships can seem a little more "intense" then they actually are. The Jewish boy from Tennessee (see a few blog entries back) is a prime example of this.

After having to curb his continued desires to take me to dinner and commentary about how I am so pretty, everything came to a head. As were were chatting after work in his apartment, he asked "So, do I have a chance with you?" Caught off guard by his direct and bold statement, I replied kind at first, laughing and blowing off the question altogether. He continued to be persistent and I gave him all that was in my repertoire, including, we're such good friends, I'm only here for a few weeks, and that's not really my focus on this trip.

His response:

"Come on Molly, you are really going to paint yourself into that corner? Allowing yourself to miss out on something like this? Come on, I think I have a chance."

I have lost my patience at this point, letting him know, sadly, that he has "zero chance". This is still not enough to pacify him. He demands reasons. I go through my list again. Does he really need me spell it out for him? I mean, I'm on the verge of letting him know that i don't find him attractive and his personality is lacking as well, but my best judgement stops me and I politely and coyly tell him to just drop it. He lets me know that he'll stop trying to pursue me, but I will regret it.

I think I'm willing to take those chances...

Same Thing, Different Continent

Thinking things will be dramatically different in my social scene here in Cape Town, South Africa, as usual, I have been sorely mistaken.

Out with my roommates and other new friends on Friday night, we headed to Long Street. Cape Town's version of Bourbon Street and the hub of most of the night life here in town. After an hour or two at one bar, we ended our evening at a place called the Dubliner. A lovely little Irish bar with great music and cheap drinks. Next thing I know, its 4am in the morning (what do I still think I'm in New York?) and my roommate and I are chatting with two guys she had met the night before from New York.

Seriously, I come halfway around the world and end up chatting with two guys from New York, one living in Queens and the other in Nyack. Both in finance, of course... Unfortunately, there are few places to continue to hang out after 4am in Cape Town and my roommate decided it would be a great time to challenge the boys to climbing Lion's Head, working to convince the boy she liked that she could "beat him up the mountain".

I should have known better, working to leave well enough alone. Unfortunately, good judgement isn't always my strong suit. As my roommate and I heading back to the apartment of the two New York boys (I couldn't leave her alone after all), I kept thinking to myself, same shenanigans, different continent.

**Safety Note** I made it back to my apartment safe and sound at 9am. With my email requested by the boy living in Nyack, so we can "hang out" when I return stateside.

It's Like I can't Escape...

So as I travel to Africa, I had the belief that it would give me new experiences and get me away from the dreadful dating scene I have encountered recently. As it turns out, as I was in the airport at 2am in Cape Town, I would have no such luck. There is a guy here, from Tennessee, Jewish, and in finance. Being the friendly girl that I am, I started chatting with him, excited to meet someone from my program and make a friend. It took about twelve hours for him to start saying how he feels obligated to pay for my ostrich burger, "After all, I'm the guy." I remind him that we aren't on a date. He continues to let me know that we have so much in common and we can do all these things together, asking how I feel about an overnight trip to the Winelands.

Hold up! Its only day two! Not to mention I am so not interested. Either way, he's a nice guy, who will be renting a car during his time and has his own computer. These are the things I care about and nothing more...

Moving on...

I have found that it is time to move on - challenge myself with another adventure. It was so much for me to pick up my life and move back to New York. And I couldn't be more pleased with the outcome. I've never had more fun and met better people than I have within the past two years. But I am feeling the need for a change, albeit temporary.

Just as I packed up a house and placed my life into a walk-up studio on the Upper East Side, I am packing once again, and placing my life into a backpack. I'm heading to Africa to see what else is out there. I'll be the novice nomad, ready to take on whatever life brings me, on a whole other level.

I have found the ability to manage the wilds of concrete jungle, and am feeling confident that I can master the African bush as well. Stay tuned!

Where are all the thirty-year old men?

As I have been heading out to the bars with friends, I find myself asking, where are all the thirty-year old men? Yes, I do go the occasional spot that may tend to resemble a fraternity house, but even at better venues, it seems that all the men I encounter are twenty-five and under.

As I was out enjoying the warm weather at one of my favorite outdoor spots, my friends and I were approached by these two boys (and I emphasize boys). One looked exactly like my sister's 13 year old neighbor - no joke! We started chatting, and they talked about starting a new job and being excited to live in the city. However, they do not live in the city, they live in New Jersey, with their parents. And, it's their first job, right out of college, as they JUST graduated in May!

I am starting to feel older and older, especially when the guys that are surrounding me were still in high school when I graduated college. There is something to be said about the energy of the young. I'm all for that, but would love it to be in a package that carries a little more age!