The Linguist

The Linguist - Marcus. We made a plan to meet for drinks at the Kimberly Hotel. As I am hustling over to the bar in a cab, I get a call from him that the Kimberly is closed for a private party and we should meet at Houstons instead. Seriously? Houstons? It's not actually called Houstons anymore, but it's essentially the same thing.

I wait at the bar. I watch him come in, and look feverishly around, trying to find me. One of the simple joys I find with blind dates. He finds me, says Ciao and kisses me on both cheeks. Did I mention that Marcus is a nerdy Jewish boy from Manhattan?

We decide to change locations, and head to the Four Seasons which is also closed for a private party. Slightly deflated, Marcus continues to tour me around the midtown hotel scene, showing me around as if I'm a tourist, speaking a few different languages as he goes along. We settle on Bull & Bear at the Waldorf.

It is here, as I gulp dirty martinis, that Marcus enlightens me to the Vesper Martini, the chosen drink of 007. Then I learn that Marcus speaks Portugese, Spanish, and some other language. I stopped paying attention at this point, especially since I didn't understand what he was saying to me. What possesed this man to start speaking languages I couldn't understand and why did he think this was a selling point?

As he double kisses me goodnight and mumbled something else in another language, he shuts the cab door on this evening. Arrivederci! Adios! Adieux! Boa noite!

Dating or Work?

There is a lot of talk about how you approach dating should be how you approach your job. I get this on an intellectual level, but as a therapist, in practical application, I should not be doing therapy on a date, but sometimes it is just inevitable.

Last night, I went on what I hope to be my last Match.com date, for the specific reason that they seem to get worse and worse. Jon came to meet me for margaritas - tequila should make everything better, right? He comes in exasperated and very distraught, sits down at the bar and instantly starts off with how much he hates blind dates and how terrible Match.com is, believing it unfairly judges him. I sense his anxiety and switch into therapist mode, working to disarm his anxiety and get him feeling more comfortable in this "holding space."

He refuses to talk about his work, swearing he will not let it define him (he's an investment banker). He talks about how he hates being positive and is about to "break up" with his therapist, asking for my opinion on this.

I have enough whiny, depressing people I have to listen to all day, the last thing I need is to do this on my dates too. No matter how many margaritas!

Brace Yourself...

As I write this, I need to put it out there, that the continued string of great material a.k.a bad dates, has led me to cancel my Match.com membership. Brian added to this, as did the comment from my sister as to "where do I meet these guys."

So Brian and I messaged back and forth via Match.com. Nice guy, 35 years old, lawyer, good family, you know... the usual. He set the date for Slainte on the Bowery on a Thursday evening. A lovely little Irish bar that I had passed many a time. I was a little tired but powering through, as I am getting ready I hear my phone ding. A message from Brian...

"I should warn you that I had braces put on my lower teeth this week. I feel like an adolescent"

What the hell am I supposed to do with that? I obviously can't cancel on him now! I try to neutralize, as any good therapist would, making a joke about a corn on the cob eating contest. I get to the bar, which is invaded with sports teams, seriously, we are the only ones not in matching jerseys in from the local kickball game. And there is brace face.

It wasn't all that bad. I probably wouldn't have noticed. He was clearly uncomfortable. I continued to make little jokes, and then asked - Why now? Why get braces now. My mistake (especially before a cocktail)! He proceeds to tell me about his jaw issues and his head gear, rubber bands and wax. The conversation never gets better. I down two Abita Purple Haze (best part of the evening) and let him know it was nice meeting him.

Best to you, Brace Face!!