The importance of confidence and a personality....

There is nothing worse then blind dates. Unfortunately, I seem to go on quite a few of them. The only thing that makes a blind date bearable is lots of vodka and a guy with confidence and personality. There wasn't enough vodka in the world to make my date tonight bearable.

Let's call him Al. A little nervous when we spoke on the phone a few nights ago. I made a joke, letting him know we can put the awkward behind us and move on with the conversation. Clearly this was a challenging task. Challenging enough that when we actually met for cocktails, even the double whiskey he ordered didn't help.

Two hours and three drinks later, I had watched this man fidgeting and eating all the sesame sticks from the bar mix, while nervously drinking his whiskey and alternating with frantic sips of water. All he talked about was how much he hates his sister and loves Brooklyn. Occasionally he would try and woo me with stories of how he creates drink recipes for fun. This was intriguing for about 5 minutes, but did not have much staying power. Which was the same for Al.

As he walked me to Union Square, I asked which way he was getting home, only to find he walked out of his way to escort me to the train. To which I responded, Really? You walked all this way for me? Well yes he replies... He looked like I had just run over his puppy dog. Clearly he thought the date was going better than I did. I thanked him for the drinks and wished him a good night.

Chivalry exists I suppose, but it's hard to notice when there is a lack of personality and confidence... And so ends another blind date in the big city!

Make it happen...

A friend of mine told me a while ago that if I guy wanted to be with me, he'd make an effort to do so. She advised that I shouldn't have to do all the work (texting, planning and so on). He should make the moves and the efforts to be with me, after all, I am worth it. Although I think this is a little old fashioned, it makes sense. Unfortunately, I feel like it's hard to find the guys who can follow through and make things happen.

I'm a fairly forgiving person, giving people more chances than they generally deserve. There is this guy that I met out. He was very attentive and seemingly motivated to hang out, texting me through the wee hours of the morning when we first met, and hoping to hang out the next day! Logistics didn't allow for this to happen, and now, three and half weeks later, with two canceled dates (on his end), does he really think he's getting another chance?

If you want to hang out with me, you find a way to make it happen, and that's that...

A nickname no boy should want...

There was this guy in college, who transferred to my school sophomore year. During his first week, we met at a fraternity party where we all had a little too much to drink. He came back to my dorm room with me to "hang out". Like many college students, he demonstrated difficulty in holding his liquor and puked all over my dorm room and continued down the hallway as well. My sorority sisters witnessed this and the poor thing has forever been named and remembered as "puke boy". Not a way to make an impression.

I never thought I would have to encounter such a disaster since that fateful night over ten years ago. But as with many things, history tends to repeat itself. Aren't I lucky!

Last night I met up with a friend that I met in Africa, a heavy night of drinking followed and a few select dive bars on the Upper East Side. Living out of the City, I offered my couch as a spot for him to crash. As he gets back to my apartment at who only knows what time (this is what four shots of jager will do), I hear him getting sick in my bathroom. I ask if he is okay and let him know that there was mouthwash in the cabinet.

I stumble out of bed a few hours later and head to the bathroom, where I find puke EVERYWHERE! Seriously! On the walls, behind the toilet, on the floor, everywhere! I have no idea how you can miss the toilet that much, but he did (that is assuming he even got anything in the toilet). I wake him up and all he can say is "I tried to clean it up." Terrible! Needless to say, he cleaned it up later and I made him buy me lunch.

And so a new Puke Boy is named...

The idea of "him"...

For a single girl at the holidays, there can be nothing worse than being on your own. It's not that I miss anyone in particular, or even that there is anyone out there right now that I want to be with. It's the idea of "him", which always seems to be more magnified around the holidays. Knowing you have someone to sit with alongside your crazy family, at your friends holiday parties, and to kiss on New Year's Eve.

I mean, there is always the spiced cider that we have at my house on Thanksgiving. It's right next to me all night, enough to keep me warm inside, and makes the family stuff far more bearable. It even makes the rumblings of "are you dating anyone?" or "you'll find that someone special..." entertaining.

That new Marc Jacobs bag is a fabulous companion at friends holiday parties, accompanied by the right outfit, really a match made in heaven. And if I drink enough champagne at New Year's I won't even realize that I'm alone, or better yet, find someone to kiss at midnight, even if I never see him again.

Still the idea of having that person, an actually hand to hold. It's a nice idea. And one I would be lying if I said I didn't want.

The importance of turning your phone off at night...

Last night, after a few margaritas, I was smart enough to turn my phone off before going to bed, never knowing what disruption can come in the wee hours of morning.

This summer, there was this bartender at a local establishment that I became friends with, obviously for the free beers he would provide me, although he was hoping for a bit more. Sad for him, great for me. He has since been fired from this establishment (shame!) but was nice enough to call me. Leaving me the following message at 1:45am.

Hi friend... This is your old bartender. Tom. I don't even know if you remember me, it was so long ago [it was August]. But uh, yea... Just calling to see what you're up to. I'm in Boston in EMT school right now. Um, I just wanted to hear some similar unemployed stories from somebody else. I don't even know if you've got a job or whatever since, but... I was just curious how the return home worked out, because I know you lost your job. Yea, but anyway...

We had a good time though. I'm in Boston. Give me a call back though. I'm in Boston.

I still remember your first name, which is really important because I never learned your last name. So that's like 3/4 of a friendship commitment right there, if you think about it, scientifically. But I know you were more social science oriented and not science arts, so, I don't know.

I just wanted to see how you were doing. I hope it's well. Alright. Bye.

Man I miss that free beer. The slurred late night phone calls, not so much...

Somewhere in Manhattan, there is a lucky girl...

I was in between appointments and grabbed a cappuccino at the Stumptown Coffee Roasters in the Ace Hotel. I settled in the library bar in the hotel's lobby, attempting to read. My attention was diverted from my novel to the hipsters sitting at the bar chatting.

The one guy is telling his buddy he is going to propose to his girlfriend. His buddy gives him the bro hug, you know, the one where he leads in with his shoulder and doesn't make too much contact. I'm captivated as he continues, sharing that he feels that he has "won the prize" and she makes him "a better person." They finish their beers and leave, as his buddy continues with the well wishes and the guy shines with this spectacular look on his face!

I'm glad I witnessed this. It's one of those moments, that restores your faith and makes you hope that you will make someone feel the same way one day. Despite his beer in the middle of the day and poor wardrobe choices, his girl, whoever she is, is a lucky woman.

Attention to Detail

I have a tendency to skip details from time to time, but nothing is worse than the email I just received from an old fling (the one who was more into David Gregory - http://theunsinkablemollybrownnyc.blogspot.com/2010/06/yea-he-said-that.html). I mean, he did mention that we should get together again, albeit 4 months ago...

hello all - sorry for the blast, but my phone decided it didn't want to remember anyone's phone numbers when I got back from Asia, so will you all please send me your contact info? Thanks!

Note to him... Pay attention to the details and stop being lazy, don't send a mass email to a girl you haven't spoken to in months.

Really man!

The Night My Sister Pimped Me Out

With my sister in town, it's usually a pretty good time. This particular weekend, was no exception. As we head to Brooklyn (yes, Brooklyn) for a Blues Traveler concert (really, this is the truth), we had some objectives. Fun, obviously, but if my sister could either find me a job or a date, she would get bonus points. Here is how the night unfolded...

After a rousing game of Brooklyn bingo (points for plaid, plastic rimmed glasses, facial hair, strange hats, etc...), we sat down for a little bite to eat with our drinks. My sister starts talking to this bubbly girl, who just happens to be Rachel Ray's cousin. No joke! Here I'm thinking, maybe I'll get a job with Rachel Ray, how great! Rachel Ray is there, at the concert. My sister goes over, dances by her, hugs her husband, and continues to work towards making a move, but is unsuccessful in the end.

Our focus shifts as we realize that we need better seats. I spot this cute guy, who happens to be on the upper level. My sister goes up to him, starts chatting, points at me, and next thing you know, we are in the VIP section, free drinks, food, and a guy who happens to be totally into me.

My sister totally pimped me out, earning her bonus points and multiple free drinks (which she paid for the next day). What I get? A cute boy who is eager to go out with me and a great weekend with my sister!

Networking - The New Pick Up Spot?

So I'm looking for work and putting myself out there, making a ridiculous amount of networking events. Now, I have heard people make the comparison of networking and dating. I get that, really. I mean, you dress up, put on a happy face, and seek out that connection. But I didn't really think that people would be at these events seeking out jobs and more.

At a recent NYU alumni event, I started chatting with this man after the speaker finished. He was older and married, looking to stop selling his soul in finance and seek out something with a little more heart. As we took the subway back uptown, we continued chatting. I found him an interesting contact (and nothing more). We exchanged cards and he head back to the suburbs to his wife and kids.

A passenger sitting next to me on the train started laughing once the doors shut and the train continued uptown, asking if that was the end of a date. I laughed and stated that we had just come from a networking event together. To which I got the following reply...

"Lady, that guy was interested in more than you job aspirations..."