The Roommate, the Box, and the Virgin Mary

It's one thing to have a roommate. I mean, I get it. It's New York City, rent is high, but it does cause some challenges when with a guy. I went to hang out with this guy at his apartment. We were watching the college games and in walks in his roommate. After two hours of awkward conversation, just the three of us, the roommate finally leaves. Feeling like I'm sneaking around and excited as if my parents have just left the room, we start kissing.

The apartment is a one bedroom with a built wall, another fabulous component of the shared apartment in New York. The problem with this room (if you want to call it that) is that it's a box. I mean, it's small, but there are no lights, no windows, and no heat/air. Literally, a box. Freaked out and amazed that a grown man lives here, I try and focus on other things...

And there she is, staring at me, a portrait of the Virgin Mary! Shielding my eyes and worried that I will be burned by her glare, I look away. What do I find, a large cross! Now I believe I am damned to hell and this box will carry me to my grave!

I attempt to escape this environment, which is reminding far too much of my college past, running for the door, hoping I don't run into the roommate on my way out...

Don't I Deserve More?

It's a sad day when you realize the guy that you have started dating, and believe that there is something that could materialize, lets you down. After 8 dates, consistent communication, commonality, and a gut feeling, the new man disappoints.

On a date riddled with underhanded digs and far too much immaturity, the discussion of compliments comes up. He tells me that I have never said anything nice about him, which isn't true. There have been numerous comments made about his incredible smile, great sense of humor, and gorgeous eyes. Feeling guilty and starting to internalize what I bad person I must be, I start thinking... he's never said anything nice about me, not even a simple compliment?!?

So I say, "you know, while we are on the topic and you are making me feel pretty guilty, I don't think you have ever complimented me?"

"You are right, I haven't, but at least I haven't said anything mean either."

For real? That is the stupidest rationalization I have ever heard! And I have heard a lot of crap. I am starting to recognize that this guy isn't all I thought he was cracked up to be, knowing I deserve someone who can at least muster up a compliment, if for nothing more than knowing how to be polite. Recognizing once again, that it's hard to find a good one out there...

The Run In

Despite the million plus people on the island of Manhattan, it seems to be getting smaller and smaller in my opinion. Evidence of such comes from the unsuspecting run in. It starts easy enough, for me, running into an old bunk mate from summer camp that I haven't seen in over 15 years. However it can get more fun than that, more complicated than that, and even far more humiliating.

My high school crush

Random run in that worked out quite well. After moving back into the city, I headed to brunch with a friend from college. As we are waiting for the table, I run into three boys from high school, including a crush of mine, that never really seemed all that interested while in school. His interests had changed, the run in proved that, well into the next day. A positive and fun run in to say the very least. I had a black and blue hand print on my ass and red wine all over my cream couch proving that this run in had its benefits.

My ex-fiance's best friend

Random run in while out celebrating a major feat at the time. With my girlfriends after far too many margaritas and sangria, we headed for dinner. I was intoxicated and contemplating my need to go home, I head to the ladies room. What a place for a run in. My ex-fiance's best friend's wife. Great! Too small of a bathroom to avoid the awkward run in, so I say hello and head over to their table. After small talk, I head back to my friends in tears. Definitely not the run in I was hoping for on a night made for celebrations.

Ex-Boyfriend while with new boyfriend while heading to the subway for work at 7am

This was particularly uncomfortable. Over the summer, while dating Corky, we headed out of my apartment and towards the subway to go to work. En route, we run into Bad Date Bobby walking out of his apartment. For the longest three blocks, I have Corky smiling and holding my hand while Bad Date Bobby tells some story of a bar fight he had gotten himself into. A run in I could have done without for sure.

The Bad Internet Date that just won't go Away

I work around the corner from this guy, and he is a major tool. However too much tequila and poor decision making gave this guy the luck to see me beyond the first date (lucky him, big moment of shame on my end). I managed to phase him out, which was not as easy as I had hoped. I went out to lunch one afternoon and as I am heading down the block, he is heading towards me. We see each other but he looks away, while strangely still looking at me. It was quite possibly the most awkward sight, really quite something to be seen. I stop and say hello, feeling that there is no way to avoid, and he shares his hope that the tacos he picked up for lunch won't get the best of him. On that note, I kept walking.

Roommate of an Ex

As the weather is getting warmer here in NYC, the outdoor bars are back in business. After work this past Friday, my girls and I head for a beer. As we are heading out to leave the bar, I run into the most recent ex's roommate, whose name escaped me. Pleasantries are exchanged, and then the introduction. "So this is Molly, my roommate's friend." I choked/laughed. "Well, they actually dated for a while, so I guess..." OK, on that note, super great to see you, send the roommie my best.


So the run in can go from great to terrifying, and as the weather gets warmer and people come out of hibernation, I better get used to it. I'd like to think that when these run in's occur, I am witty, charming, and of course look fabulous. However reality is a bitch, and usually I look a mess or I'm drunk or both. Ah well! Better stories to tell...

Like a Moth to the Flame...

Like a moth to a flame, it seems as though Bad Date Bobby just can't get enough! After finally perfecting the booty call, albeit a year after the fact, it seems as though he just can't get enough. However, I am not sure he recognizes my lack of interest in anything more than our present arrangement. The evidence is as follows...

Upon celebrating my entrance into a new decade of fun, we returned to the scene of the crime. There was cheap beer and beer pong, simply put, poor decision making was afoot. As I am getting up in the morning, running late due to some, ummm, distractions, I gently let him know that I have to go, and he should too. I head out to my birthday brunch and have far too many Bloody Mary's (what else is new). Upon my stumble home, at 5pm, and drunkenly text him to thank him for hanging out on my birthday. This is what I get in return.

U should come here

I have food

I have Crumbs (cupcakes)

Anything? Response?

Are you asleep?

What are you up to? I may have to come up.

Molly?

Birthday girl?

I'll have you know that you have me feeling bad. Wasn't trying to be rude...just a pain. Hope I didn't upset you today.

I had passed out cold, for a good two hours, only to awake to all these text messages. Confused and disoriented I call him, making clear our situation and alerting him to my drunken state. He takes this further to assume that I am inviting him over with his cupcakes. When I politely decline his invitation, he lets me know that he'll set the Oreo cupcake aside, and make sure his roommate doesn't eat it.

Why, because you really think I am coming over before that cupcake goes bad? I'm wondering which has a longer shelf life, the Oreo cupcake or this little moth...

The Dangers of Providing Too Much Information

As previously mentioned, I have recently started dating this guy. I get a little scared when starting what could be a new relationship. Let's just consider this the fear of history repeating itself. A challenge comes in with my parents. They are so interested in my love life, and part of me lets them, it helps them feel better about all that has happened. Unfortunately, it has now gone a little too far.

I was telling my parents about the bowling date, and how I have uncovered the last name of this new guy. My father asks what the last name is. I hesitate initially, worried about where this may lead. I even ask... "what are you going to do, google him?" My parents laugh, say no, and ask how to spell the last name.

Then I find out why I must stop indulging the parents. My parents googled my potential boyfriend!!!! I know I am the one at fault, but seriously?!?!

Last Name

It's a strange thing when you are dating. There is a chance that you may not know a person's last name right away. I have done many a thing to find out the last name of these men. Checked the credit card when they are paying the bill. Look at the mail on the table in their apartment. But to be honest, it's all a little scary, slightly humiliating even, to have to be investigating these men, when all you are really looking for is a last name.

So I have been dating this guy, a great guy really. He makes me smile and laugh and it feels as though we've known each other for far longer than we have. Either way, it took a few dates before I knew his last name. I kept trying to find this information, but without great success. On our 4th date, we went bowling ( a whole other issue altogether...) When it was time to put in the names, he adds mine and then puts in some random name for himself. I ask, Who's that? He replies, point blank, "oh, that's my last name, that is what everybody calls me."

Ahh! Last name, good to know! Mystery solved!

A good night or did you just have one too many drinks?

Sometimes it can get kind of confusing. Did I have a really good night out, was it so much fun? Or did I just have one too many drinks... Indications that lean towards the latter...

you wake up with a fat lip, and can't really figure out why.

you find that you have washed off your make-up and hung up your dress, but have no recollection of actually getting back to the apartment.

you couldn't actually leave the bar without help, the push door was a little too much to handle.

you wake up and there is a charbroiled piece of pizza in your oven (that is still on!)

you've "snogged" some Brit (whose name escapes you) outside the McDonald's where you stopped to get fries before karaoke in Korea-town

A Hickey... Gasp! Its been a while, thank god, but not as long ago as it should have been.