So I am not an expert dater by any means. After being in a relationship for 6 years, it was a hard thing to maneuver once again. But now I am realizing that dating when you are at a certain age, is a whole other beast. Is it safe to assume that there is no such thing as casual dating anymore? What is so wrong with just dating someone, instead of checking their genetics and sizing them up for the tuxedo as they walk down that very long aisle towards eternity. Some thoughts...
What I am finding is that as I am peering down the very short road towards thirty, men are looking for one of two things, a one night stand or wife. Is there no middle ground? Example...
I started dating this guy "Corky". We met at a bar, had a fun time, and started seeing each other regularly. He was interested in "the relationship", asking me to accompany him to a wedding after only seeing each other for a few months. He also asked to be exclusive, which would have been fine, if I didn't have an anxiety attack as soon as the words left his mouth. He was also very upset that he didn't get to meet my parents when they were in town. He is a few years older than me, but I thought the message was clear, its only been a few months, I enjoy your company and that is that. What more is there when you have only been dating five months?
Well, apparently, this is where I went wrong. There was a discussion of religion, mine being Jewish, and he was Protestant (maybe, to be honest I didn't pay much attention). I remember him asking me, "What are thoughts of dating someone who wasn't Jewish?" My response? "Why are we even talking about this right now?!?" Long story short, Corky broke it off with me after the holidays, stating that he knows that he wants children and religion is important to him, therefore this will never work out, so we should break up.
Thoughts.... why are we having this conversation at five months, can't we just keep having fun? Who said anything about children? Clearly we were on different pages, but it made me think, is that what I have to deal with?
Being thirty in the city, is it all about finding a mate? Maybe because I had such a long relationship before, with the ring and the wedding gown, that I am not in that space anymore. Is it so wrong to be looking for fun first instead of a husband? Unfortunately, I don't think many of the men in NYC can see beyond the extremes - marriage or one night stand. This demonstrates complete all or nothing thinking that frustrates me and leads to believe that each date I go on, I am being judged...could this girl be my wife? No? OK than, why waste any more time, unless she is useful to satisfy my need for a one night stand...
When did it get like this?
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