The cross, the college ring, and the nipple ring...

Now I am a fairly simple girl. I don't require much in they way of jewelry. The only jewelry I ever wore was my engagement ring, and we all know that didn't end well. Nevertheless, I am seemingly attracting myself to various men in the city who do enjoy their own jewelry.

For starters was "Bad Date Bobby". To keep my Jewish grandmothers rolling in their graves, "Bad Date Bobby" wore a cross. Like every good Christian boy from the Midwest, he went to Christian schools and goes to church on the weekend. The interesting thing about "Bad Date Bobby" and his cross was that when "Bad Date Bobby" was doing less than holy things, the cross came off. I had never see or heard such things, but it quickly became quite the story. And apparently, another friend of mine was with a boy who did the same! What makes these actions more holy with the cross off? Hmmmm. The most tragic part of this little story is that "Bad Date Bobby" left his cross at my apartment one fateful evening. This was the unfortunate beginning of the end for "Bad Date Bobby" and I. I had to call my friend and my sister, with great trepidation, "what am I supposed to do with this cross?" I didn't even want to touch if for fear that it would burn my hand or something! This did not please "Bad Date Bobby", leading him to choose the cross over me. It happens...

Next was "Corky". "Corky", another Midwestern boy, who had a passion for show tunes and greatly enjoyed his glimmering class ring! Seriously, I couldn't make this up. "Corky" had many unfortunate components, yet we continued to date for a few months (another story for another day). The class ring was something I never understood. He has been out of college for almost 10 years and he wore it everywhere! He also left his jewels in my apartment. It took a lot of restraint for my girlfriends and I not to wear it around while poking fun at "Corky's" chosen accessory.

As always, there needs to be a trifecta when talking great stories. This one has just recently been revealed. This boy, a "nice Jewish boy" from Connecticut, had potential. And then, on our second date, I learn not only did he once have two earrings (in one ear), he also had a nipple ring! This is strange information for me to grasp. I mean, how many men in their mid-thirties do you know, from Connecticut no less, that have had a nipple ring? He claims it was a spring break mistake. I have had spring break mistakes, but none ever involved nipple piercings.

And again my Jewish grandmothers roll over and over again, wondering the same as me, why are all these men wearing more jewelry than I?